The day’s newspapers and television carried reports of a well-known religious leader in a war ravaged country, movingly cry out, “God, where were you when innocent people were massacred? Why were you silent?”
The sage was not impressed. “This is only sentimental drama to deflect his own remorse,” he remarked. “The fool doesn’t realise that God would have acted if religious leaders were fearless.”
A man had squandered his wealth for several years. He neglected his family, health and well being. Friends and relatives had tried to help him but he continued on his downward spiral.
“After all our efforts he has not budged one bit and I know he is suffering too,” a close friend acknowledged sadly. “When will he begin to change?”
“Obviously he hasn’t suffered enough,” was the sage’s comment.
(( (Francis J Padinjarekara: A Dewdrop in the Ocean. Mumbai: Awareness Arc, 2009. pg. 104)
“How can I be a successful leader?” a young CEO asked.
“By being fully present.”
“Does that mean I have to be everywhere and micromanage?”
“That would be impossible and inadvisable,” the sage responded. “Being present is first of all being with yourself. Then you’ll see clearly, truly understand and act courageously.” ( (Francis J Padinjarekara: A Dewdrop in the Ocean. Mumbai: Awareness Arc, 2009. pg. 205)
Our great gift is our capacity to be present. We say about some people that they have a great presence. That is possible when our mind and heart are also present where our body is. That may sound quite easy, but that is a major challenge for most human beings. We are here in body but somewhere else in our minds. We may be wishing we were elsewhere. We may be working out plans for the future. Or we are stuck somewhere in the past.
Our presence, our ability to be fully there in the here and now is very powerful. It is our presence that brings great energy, clarity and peace. Facing the challenges of life is possible only with our presence. We cannot be successful in life without being present. Intimacy is our presence to another person. Self-love or confidence is our presence to ourselves.
A high school teacher was quite intense in his speech and attitude. After listening to the sage for a while he realised, “I want peace more than anything else, but I see how disturbed I am in life. It’s as if wherever I turn something upsets me: I turn on the TV or read the papers, I’m upset. I talk to people, I get annoyed. I go to work and there is no peace.”
“The primary reason for your disturbance and disquiet is your demand that reality be different from the way it is,” explained the sage. “The moment you accept the way things are, you’re at peace.” (Francis J Padinjarekara: A Dewdrop in the Ocean. Mumbai: Awareness Arc, 2009. pg. 82)
Everyone who is disturbed or unhappy has one thing in common – the difficulty in coming to terms with reality. The biggest battle we are engaged in is the fight against what is, a fight where the winner is already known.
Awareness is seeing what is directly and openly. Life is what it is whether we like it or not. Other people are the way they are whether we are pleased or displeased. A Zen master put it beautifully: Reality is what it is if you understand. Reality is what it is if you don’t understand.
A visitor, distressed by many painful life events, was searching for peace. He had tried religion, meditation and psychotherapy, but none of that had helped. He wanted to get away from it all and be at peace.
“Your conflict is between what is and what is not,” the sage explained to him. “You are trying to find peace by escaping what is, but that never works.”
“What can I do to end this conflict?” the visitor asked.
“There is only one way you can do that,” the sage answered. “You can find peace only by coming to terms with reality. Steadfastly refuse to look away from what you see.”
((THE OCEAN IN THE DEWDROP – Awakening the Sage within, de Mello Publications, 2010, pg. 12)
“When the monk goes to the tavern, the tavern becomes his cell. When the drunk goes to a cell, the cell becomes his tavern.” (Anthony de Mello).
Holiness is not the attribute of a place, but the quality of an experience. It is not the trait of a person, but the quality of presence. The way we are, not where we are, is what makes the difference. The unaware person may be in the most hallowed place but be unaffected by being there.
Happiness is not the result of what happens around us, but what happens within us. We may be in the best of circumstances, have all we need and be surrounded by loving people. Yet we can be profoundly unhappy. Someone may be living in difficult circumstances and yet be completely happy.
The one who has open eyes sees, the one whose heart is open is happy. To the one who is aware, the world is a happy place regardless of what happens.
“Whenever I sit in meditation, feelings of past hurts appear. Or it is anger I feel, or fears of all kinds,” a woman said. “Can you teach me a meditation that will get me away from those messy feelings and find peace?”
“Meditation does not open escape routes for you, but closes them. Instead of helping you avoid reality, it helps you to see and honour it,” the sage replied. “For that, you have to observe the ways of the heart, the dance of your fear and the clamour of your desire. For the one who understands the movements of one’s heart, peace is the sure gift.”
(THE OCEAN IN THE DEWDROP – Awakening the Sage within, de Mello Publications, 2010, pg. 128)
People are motivated by different reasons to learn to meditate. One of them is to escape the pains and problems of life that affect them, so that with the help of meditation they would attain a becalmed state of mind that is unaffected by what happens around them. They would not feel angry when they are ill treated, they would not grieve when they lose something, or they would not feel the many unpleasant emotions that occur in daily life. The gift that is sought an inoculation against pain, a spiritual anesthesia that would make them invulnerable in life.
This would be a serious misconception about the purpose of meditation which should in fact open us to life, even make us vulnerable, and give us the strength, wisdom and clarity to face life and its hardships with dignity and courage. Awareness does not protect people from reality, it propels them in the direction of life. And yet while awareness shines a light on all we fear to see, it also lights up paths we never saw were there.
A woman said that she had been on the spiritual path for several years. At times she was filled with the terror of the consequences of the path she was walking.
“For the first time I am seeing that my husband and I are not on the same wavelength. I am seeing that our marriage is based on an illusion. I am terrified at the prospects of our relationship breaking down, or us drifting apart from each other.”
“Anxiety is looking at the future with the eyes of the past,” said the sage. “But understand this: if you live in the present, you have all the resources to face whatever happens now. That way you don’t have to suffer the future now.”
(THE OCEAN IN THE DEWDROP – Awakening the Sage within, de Mello Publications, 2010, pg. 97)
“How is it that many people react with anger and resistance to the message of sages?” a visitor asked.
“When you’re in deep sleep and someone attempts to wake you up, you’re quite likely to be rather annoyed,” the sage answered.
“Many people, after years of contact with you, still seem to have such difficulty understanding you,” he said.
“When people’s comfort and security depend on not understanding, they won’t,” the sage explained.
(THE OCEAN IN THE DEWDROP – Awakening the Sage within, de Mello Publications, 2010. pg. 7)
One day there was an animated discussion about the religious preacher who was on television, newspapers, radio, everywhere. One of the visitors said he was amazed at how the preacher had an answer for every question, an advice for every person and was never at a loss for words.
In response, the sage told them a story. “As a king passed a village, he suspected that there was an extraordinary marksman there because of the numerous arrows on village walls each one right in the centre of little circles. A young man was brought before the king who asked him, ‘Are you the one who shoots so well?’
“The young man said, ‘Your majesty, I first shoot at the wall, and then I draw the circles.’
“So our man first has his readymade answers, and he is waiting for the questions that fit them,” concluded the sage.
(Francis J Padinjarekara: The Ocean in the Dewdrop, de Mello Publications, 2010.)
