THE POWER OF YOUR PRESENCE

Posted on January 30, 2011 by

“When the monk goes to the tavern, the tavern becomes his cell. When the drunk goes to a cell, the cell becomes his tavern.” (Anthony de Mello).

Holiness is not the attribute of a place, but the quality of an experience. It is not the trait of a person, but the quality of presence. The way we are, not where we are, is what makes the difference. The unaware person may be in the most hallowed place but be unaffected by being there.

Happiness is not the result of what happens around us, but what happens within us. We may be in the best of circumstances, have all we need and be surrounded by loving people. Yet we can be profoundly unhappy. Someone may be living in difficult circumstances and yet be completely happy.

The one who has open eyes sees, the one whose heart is open is happy. To the one who is aware, the world is a happy place regardless of what happens.

Posted in Anthony de Mello, Awareness, Happiness, Mindfulness, Presence | Leave a comment

WHEN MEDITATION IS AN ESCAPE

Posted on January 9, 2011 by

“Whenever I sit in meditation, feelings of past hurts appear. Or it is anger I feel, or fears of all kinds,” a woman said. “Can you teach me a meditation that will get me away from those messy feelings and find peace?”

“Meditation does not open escape routes for you, but closes them. Instead of helping you avoid reality, it helps you to see and honour it,” the sage replied. “For that, you have to observe the ways of the heart, the dance of your fear and the clamour of your desire. For the one who understands the movements of one’s heart, peace is the sure gift.”

(THE OCEAN IN THE DEWDROP – Awakening the Sage within, de Mello Publications, 2010, pg. 128)

People are motivated by different reasons to learn to meditate. One of them is to escape the pains and problems of life that affect them, so that with the help of meditation they would attain a becalmed state of mind that is unaffected by what happens around them. They would not feel angry when they are ill treated, they would not grieve when they lose something, or they would not feel the many unpleasant emotions that occur in daily life. The gift that is sought an inoculation against pain, a spiritual anesthesia that would make them invulnerable in life.

This would be a serious misconception about the purpose of meditation which should in fact open us to life, even make us vulnerable, and give us the strength, wisdom and clarity to face life and its hardships with dignity and courage. Awareness does not protect people from reality, it propels them in the direction of life. And yet while awareness shines a light on all we fear to see, it also lights up paths we never saw were there.

Posted in Awareness, Meditation, Mindfulness, Ocean in the Dewdrop, Padinjarekara, Reality, Sage | Leave a comment

ANXIETY

Posted on December 17, 2010 by

A woman said that she had been on the spiritual path for several years. At times she was filled with the terror of the consequences of the path she was walking.

“For the first time I am seeing that my husband and I are not on the same wavelength. I am seeing that our marriage is based on an illusion. I am terrified at the prospects of our relationship breaking down, or us drifting apart from each other.”

“Anxiety is looking at the future with the eyes of the past,” said the sage. “But understand this: if you live in the present, you have all the resources to face whatever happens now. That way you don’t have to suffer the future now.”

(THE OCEAN IN THE DEWDROP – Awakening the Sage within, de Mello Publications, 2010, pg. 97)

Posted in Happiness, Now, Ocean in the Dewdrop, Padinjarekara, Sage | Leave a comment

RESISTANCE

Posted on November 30, 2010 by

“How is it that many people react with anger and resistance to the message of sages?” a visitor asked.

“When you’re in deep sleep and someone attempts to wake you up, you’re quite likely to be rather annoyed,” the sage answered.

“Many people, after years of contact with you, still seem to have such difficulty understanding you,” he said.

“When people’s comfort and security depend on not understanding, they won’t,” the sage explained.

(THE OCEAN IN THE DEWDROP – Awakening the Sage within, de Mello Publications, 2010. pg. 7)

Posted in Awareness, Mindfulness, Ocean in the Dewdrop, Padinjarekara, Reality, Sage, Waking Up | Leave a comment

ANSWERS

Posted on November 10, 2010 by

One day there was an animated discussion about the religious preacher who was on television, newspapers, radio, everywhere. One of the visitors said he was amazed at how the preacher had an answer for every question, an advice for every person and was never at a loss for words.

In response, the sage told them a story. “As a king passed a village, he suspected that there was an extraordinary marksman there because of the numerous arrows on village walls each one right in the centre of little circles. A young man was brought before the king who asked him, ‘Are you the one who shoots so well?’

“The young man said, ‘Your majesty, I first shoot at the wall, and then I draw the circles.’

“So our man first has his readymade answers, and he is waiting for the questions that fit them,” concluded the sage.

(Francis J Padinjarekara: The Ocean in the Dewdrop, de Mello Publications, 2010.)

Posted in Awareness, Ocean in the Dewdrop, Padinjarekara, Reality, Sage | Leave a comment

WHAT AM I GETTING OUT OF THIS?

Posted on October 25, 2010 by

A 55 year old social worker complained bitterly about the way she was being exploited by nearly everyone she encountered – friends, husband, children, several people at her work place, and extended family members. She spent nearly all her time and most of the money she earned on other people. At work others dumped extra work on her because “you’re so kind!” At home her neighbours dumped their chores and stories because “you’re so helpful.” Some friends needing her advice would call her as late as midnight because “you’re always there for us.”

Many people saw are as a saint who lived entirely for other people. For herself the moment of truth came when she was hospitalised for a stress related illness followed by an extended period of convalescence. When support from family and friends was far less than she had expected, and when few of the people who came to her for help thought of visiting or calling her, she was devastated. She had to confront her own resentment and bitterness.

The illness induced crisis was to be a turning point for her. She began to ask herself insistently a question she had never asked herself: “What am I getting out of this?”

The question was one of great awareness as she began to submit to an honest examination of the way she lived, especially her helpfulness. She began to see how she was motivated by her need for people’s praise, her fear of displeasing them and her inability to say no even when that was the honest response she would have liked to give. She had believed she was this selfless giver who did everything for the love of people. Now she realized that behind it was her love for herself and what she was getting out of helping people.

What am I getting out of this? In many situations of life, this is a difficult question to ask but a necessary one if we have to be more aware of ourselves.

Posted in Awareness, Mindfulness, Relationship | Tagged | 1 Comment

LOVE AND FEAR

Posted on October 7, 2010 by

One of the abiding mysteries of human relationships is how people who can hardly stand each other still remain married or in some such relationships. There may be abuse, discord, and distance leading to suffering to one or both parties. Yet the relationship seems to withstand it all. Here is a story that may throw some light on this.

A woman spoke about the frustrations in her marriage. “My husband and I have little in common. If we had children we could talk about them. We speak of nothing personal or intimate to each other. In fact, we don’t even share our bed any longer,” she said.

“What keeps you together then?” the sage asked.

“I guess both of us are scared to face the facts,” she said. “Both of us are afraid to be lonely.”

The sage said, “Fear is known to hold people together long after love has failed.” (Francis J Padinjarekara: A Dewdrop in the Ocean. Mumbai: Awareness Arc, 2009)

Posted in A Dewdrop in the Ocean, Awareness, Fear, Love, Padinjarekara, Relationship, Sage | 1 Comment